The property pinch's secret solace

Last week it was widely reported that the UK's housing market was in its worst state for more than 30 years. This followed news from the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors (RICS) that 95 per cent of surveyors recorded a fall in house prices in April.

Given the slowing economic climate, this will probably have come as little surprise to most people, but undoubtedly fuelled anxiety among homeowners. Now, while it'd be naive to disregard the impacts of the credit crunch, there's been too much doom and gloom reporting and not nearly enough focus on 'the light at the end of the tunnel'.

So, I thought I'd take this opportunity to shed some light on the potential, unreported, positives of the slowing housing market. As we ride-out the slump, take some comfort in the following:

1) The end of poxy amateur developers - tighter margins and higher risks will surely deter every Tom, Dick and Harry from thinking they are a qualified property developer. Leaving it to the professionals will mean your peaceful evenings and Sunday mornings aren't interrupted by banging and swearing from next door, your street isn't clogged with mini-skips and the next property you purchase not riddled by botched workmanship, which either costs you a fortune to fix or nearly kills you (trust me on this point, my house nearly fell down because of amateur developers - she should have stuck to being a police woman!)

2) The end of those damn property shows - lower public interest in residential property development could mean our small screens are no longer dominated by how-to-buy-or-build-a-house shows. Imagine being able to turn on your TV and not having to endure Phil Spencer's satirical wit or some hapless couple planning to spend £5k on a run-down terrace and make a 1,000 per cent mark-up. Heaven.

3) The end of first time buyer hardship - lower prices should mean that first time buyers find it easier, mortgages permitting, to get on the property ladder. Parents across the country can breathe a sigh of relief knowing there's more chance their life-savings can be spent on that super-deluxe static home instead of their child's first house.

4) The end of sheds selling for £300k - the slow down should spell an end to over-inflated prices and people claiming that their beach-huts, flats the size of a telephone box and small terraces are worth the same as Botswana's GDP.

5) The end of those irritating equity-release adverts - fears of negative equity should lead to a decline in the number of those patronising adverts that offer more mature people the chance to cash-in on their house to enjoy their retirement by taking the cruise of a lifetime or having enough cash to play frisbee with their Labrador in the garden. Really, how much does a frisbee cost these days?

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