Life's biggest communications challenge is blue
Convincing his nipper to hang in there with Everton won't get any easier if they keep losing 6-1 to Arsenal, says Dougal Paver.
Parents worry - that's their job. Bruises, breaks, bumps, bullies and the Blues are just some of the things that cause concern in the Paver household.
A case in point: Liverpool are playing Atletico Madrid in a pre-season friendly and Rory and I find ourselves down at the waterfront so that he can see the ships. Everywhere are Irish, Norwegian and woollyback accents and the city is a festival of red shirts.
"Where are all the people in blue, daddy?" he asks, plaintively.
"We don't need to proclaim our love for Everton by wearing blue," I said, congratulating myself for being quick on my feet. "Everyone without a red shirt supports Everton," I concluded, with a flourish.
"Oh," says Rory, demonstrating a worrying grasp of cynicism for one so young.
An hour later he was sporting his first Everton shirt and I was talking him through Paul Bracewell's stunning pass to Trevor Steven against Sunderland that every blue nose my age has imprinted on his brain.
Fast forward to Saturday afternoon and Rory's all excited that daddy's off to Goodison Park. He's wearing his shirt, proud as punch, and is draped in my 1995 FA Cup Final scarf. I decide that he's got years before I need to explain the concept of 'open top bus tour' and leave it at that.
It's an early evening kick-off and he's sound asleep by the time I get home. Mum reckons he's likely to have forgotten about it by Sunday morning and I go to bed hoping he won't ask.
"Why did Arsenal score six daddy?", he says over breakfast. There was little point in a witch-hunt about who told him: the truth would always out.
"Well," I said, not quite displaying my previous form, "we put out our second team."
Lying already: I'm doomed. As previously noted elsewhere on this blog, the most basic tenet of all good communications campaigns is the truth. Thank heavens for the credulity of someone not yet 3.
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